This Sunday at SouthPoint we had a conversation about relationships, and one of the points was that in order to have a healthy year we should find the drama people, and then cut them out of our lives. We said in order to do that you should:
Communicate less and less with them
Utter prayers of deliverance for them, and then
Take time to find new relationships to fill the void.
sounds easy enough…
As the day progressed more and more people contacted me and said, “what do I do if those drama people happened to be family members, you can’t just very well cut off family members, can you?” Assuming that the “family member” is not your spouse, let me give you some simple helps to de-drama your family life in 2012.
Every person could use a dramaectomy, so here is the procedure:
1. Identify the person. Sometimes we might think it’s a sister, daughter, uncle, or aunt, but in all actuality it’s us! So before you go to step two, you better go to God and do some soul searching. It could very well be that you are the drama maker.
2. Reduce your time with them. Most drama happens in down time and frivolous conversation. Someone doesn’t have anything to do so they dramatize everything. So only spend necessary time with the person. When it starts heading in the direction of kicking back and chatting, kick back and head to the door, because you are too busy to deal with drama. Have you ever noticed busy people rarely have drama. They don’t have time for it. I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember the last time I was bored. It’s just not a word in my life, and because of that I don’t have a lot of drama because I don’t slow down for it!
3. Soon the drama queen/king will realize that you are no longer spending all that time with them and they will question you about your change, and that is where step three comes in…Tell them in the nicest way possible, “Honey, I love you and care for you, but you are what we call a drama queen! And as long as you keep wanting to stir up gossip and drama, I’m gonna have to limit my time with you, otherwise I am going to lose my-ever-lovn-mind! However, if you would like help in fixing it or tweaking it, I would love to help you.”
4. Work on restoring the relationship. Teach them. Show them. Model it for them. Guide them in love and grace.
5. Consistently do a relationship check, to make sure that it is a drama free zone.
6. Always remember, drama demands that you must act now because the world is falling apart, but the Bible says, “fire goes out for lack of wood.”. So never throw ‘wood’ on the fire, simply leave it alone, and the fire will always go out.
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