Confessions of a Positively Negative Pastor

I’m Positive I’m a pastor, and I’m positive that it is hard to not be negative. Now I am the furthest thing from a glass half empty kind of guy. I’m usually very positive, at least that’s what I thought until our latest challenge at church. Two Sunday’s ago our pastor got up (I’m that pastor by the way) and challenged all of us to be positive for four weeks. He even upped the challenge and said that nothing negative can come out of our mouths. At first I didn’t think it would be that difficult, but then as the days have worn on I have found myself coming to a scary conclusion….I realize that I am positive that I am more negative than I thought. I’m positively negative. I don’t want to be, it just seems to be how I’m wired. I’m realizing that the negativity is deeply rooted in my inner core and it takes some serious work to unearth. I’m not giving up, I’m just working harder.

I woke up today in a positively bad and negative mood. Maybe it was because the sun wasn’t shining, or maybe it was because the elves I hired didn’t make my coffee. Darn those little people! I’m not sure why, I was just not happy. I was driving in my truck this morning and realized that I was not my chipper self. Humph! So I had to make a choice, I didn’t feel any different but I chose to be happy. I chose not to bite peoples heads off, and to force a smile. To actually make the choice to display a different type of Craig than what I was feeling. It seems to have worked. I’m not happy as a loon, but I’m at lest partially acting like a loon again.

I’m positive I’m a pastor. I’m positive I’m a negative person, but I positively know that I can change it all if I just put my mind and spirit to the task.

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Do It Yourself!

I like remodeling and doing things myself around the house. The times that I’ve had to call in a professional to do certain things that were beyond my skill level aggravated me. Not because I don’t appreciate the pros, but man, I just wanna do it myself! Of course in all my ‘do it yourself’ projects, I have never uncovered, or found treasure like the couple Rhodri and Angie Powell of Milverton, Somerest (UK). They were remodeling their living room recently and as they began to tear of some wood boards that were over a wall, they came face to face with a giant mural of King Henry VIII! The mural has been dated at over 500 years old and is the only remaining portrait of the late king. This monstrous painting stands 20 feet high and 6 feet wide, and it was in their home the entire time, hiding behind a modern day facade.

When I read that news clipping I got to thinking about all the self improvement stuff we do in our lives. We try to get in better shape, eat healthier, look prettier, and become more financially solid. All of which are wonderful addendums that we can tack on to our lives, but I wonder if they are just all facades. I wonder if the real treasure that God placed in our lives really lies just below the surface and its our attempts at improving our lives that are really just covering up the greatest gift, skill, or talent that He has actually placed in us.

Have you ever felt like you were forged out of the nothingness to do more than you are? Have you ever felt that tinge in the recesses of your soul that says, “there is more to this life than what you are experiencing,” and so you begin doing your best to add things to your life to help find more meaning. Could it be that instead of adding things to our lives we need to remove things from our lives, so that in the process, we just might uncover a blindingly beautiful portrait of the King?

His face in my life will look different than His face in yours, but it’s still His face nonetheless. In your life, maybe you uncover a talent to paint, or sculpt, or teach, or administrate, maybe you excavate the ability to have a deep faith, mercy or compassion. Maybe, just below the surface of your self assurance you find a deep need and longing, for a steamy intimate relationship with the Son of God.

The great thing about digging deep in our lives is you never know what you might find, but one thing is for sure, when we start becoming more aware of who we were created to be, we will always find His face waiting to come out and be admire by all.

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