Great Sex, Profound Biblical Revelation, Turning 43

ImageThe two most Googled topics in the world is the Bible, and Sex, so obviously making that part of the title of this blog post made you click.  Welcome to one of my rants.


Since today is my birthday and I am turning 43, I’m supposed to be wiser.  I’m not sure if I am, but one thing is for sure, I have learned a lot, especially in the last 3 years.  Three years ago I wanted to quit…everything, but I didn’t thank goodness!  During that time of wanting to quit there was always one thing that stayed stuck in my mind and it was the voice of the Lord.  He said on more than one occassion, “This is not your responsibility.”


The things that I was stressed over really were things that were in my realm of responsibility.  It wasn’t until I began letting go, in order to hold on to Him, that I realized it wasn’t my responsibility, it was God’s.  Simply because I have committed my life to Him.  Therefore [awesome church word.  You get to use these when you are older than 40], my life is his life, and my stuff is His stuff.  The hardest area for most people to incorporate concept into is money.


I have learned a lot of things over the last 4 decades, but still the one thing that blows my mind is that when you bring your tithe into the House of the Lord, and honor Him with the first fruits of your income, that He in turn blesses it, and everything else in your life.  Where ever your money is, that is where your heart is.  You love what you invest in.  You are more interested in what you are invested in.  So if you are invested in the Kingdom of God you will be more interested in the kingdom of God, thus your heart will be turned to focus more on Jesus and what He is doing.  Then everything else falls in order.  


The reason people get divorced is P.M.S.

Power – who is in control

Money – not enough, where it goes, etc.

Sex – not enough, too much

What I’m getting ready to say is what I have learned, so you don’t have to agree.  It’s my life and my blog so here it goes:

When I faithfully and happily bring my tithe to God, He sets my money in order and blesses it.  Bills always get paid and there is no stress in our finances because it is His responsibility not mine.  What I have is blessed.  Since Patti and I agree that our money is really His money and every dollar in our hands is a test to see where our hearts are, that takes care of the power struggle, becasue neither her, nor I are in control of the relationship.  God is.  Therefore [only ancient sages use this word more than once in a such a short amount of time], since neither of us are struggling for control, and we are not stressed about money becasue He has put it in order then our sex life is better because there is no tension.  Yep you heard it here first – Giving tithe makes for better sex.


It’s a heart issue.  Always has been, and it always will be.  I’m glad that over the last 4 decades I have put my whole life in God’s hands.  In the good times and in the bad times, and this I know, and this I have learned – there is not a more adventurous place, than in the hands of God.


Kids Rule! Unfortunately.

Do you run your house or do your kids? Before you just jump to the typical answer think with me for a second. Do you always eat where your kids want to? Do you find yourself apologizing relentlessly for your kids behavior in public? Is it difficult for you to sit and have an adult conversation without your kids climbing all over you or, if older, constantly interrupting? Do you find yourself telling your kids to do the same thing over and over again, threatening each time with a new punishment, but never doing anything about the disobedience? Do you not believe in spanking? Yes I said it! Spanking! Totally politically incorrect and 100% Biblical.

I hear young parents and watch them struggle with their young kids. I watch as parents allow their kids to tell them what to do and when to do it, only to look in the eyes of an exhausted well-meaning adult who is at their wits end wondering why life is so difficult and why their kids seem to be growing up doing all the things that the parent hoped they would never do. If that is you then allow me to give you some recalibrating tips for your family. If you don’t like them or think they are too archaic then so be it. Live in your misery, but do me a favor, don’t call me for counseling or advice on family, and whatever you do, don’t call me asking for bail money for your wayward child.

1. When your children are young spank them. (Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15, Hebrews 12:6-7)
2. Take back control of your home. It says to raise a child in the way they should go, however what we see a lot of times is our children training us. (Proverbs 22:6)
3. Say “no”. They will not hate you. Yes they will cry. Yes they will get over it. No they will not die.
4. Refueling them on sugar and then expecting them to sit still is silly. Stop it.
5. Instead of “baby-proofing” a house train your child not to touch or play with dangerous things. All you are doing is teaching them that the world should be baby-proofed. It’s not. There are dangerous things out there, teach them to deal with it.
6. Let them hear you pray for them. When they are very young let them hear you pray for God to protect their future spouse and to even keep their future mate holy.
7. Stop having adult conversations around children. They are kids. They don’t need to know all the adult drama going on in your lives and the lives of those around you.
8. The world does not revolve around your children. It is not all about them. There are other factors at play. Teach them. Train them to interact with a dynamic environment instead of a self-centered view of life.
9. You and your spouse were married before you had the child (usually). Your relationship is more important and takes top priority over your relationship with your children. Husband, model how to treat women to your kids by how you treat your wife. Wives, model how to treat a man by how you treat your husband. Better yet, husbands, treat your wife like you want some guy to treat your daughter…..yea, that’ll make ya think a bit huh?
10. When in doubt of any of these refer back to point one.

Okay, those are my thoughts on the subject. I’m sure many of you might disagree, and that is fine I can deal with it. How is that possible? Because my parents spanked the crap out of me when I deserved it. They taught me that it was not all about me that there are other people in the world. There are other people standing in line behind me and I need to pay attention to my surroundings and respect others. They taught me that my life has extreme value and I should live my life in such a way that it honors God, and if I forgot that at any point in time, they spanked me. No I was not abused. I was loved, encouraged and raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

So, who runs your house, you or your kids?

I’m The One With Issues

Have you ever been annoyed by others? Have you ever been in a situation that just stunk? You feel like you have done everything you could or should do, you have been nice, congenial, in fact down right spiritual and the situation doesn’t change, it just stays the same? Sometimes we find ourselves in difficult situations and we just want out, we just want it to get better, and no matter what we do it doesn’t change. Usually in these situations we want the other person to change. I mean after all, we are perfect and acting right, and if they would just change everything would be grand!

Another way to look at it is that it is us not them. It is me not you. I’m learning that I am the one that needs more help. Not more help than you, just more help. We can’t compare, that just screws us up more. I’m learning that I need to have my head screwed on straight. In Romans the Apostle Paul said, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

One of the things I am working on in my own life is keeping my mind set on those things in the spirit not in the flesh. Do I meditate on issues, problems, annoying people, annoying situations, or do I focus and meditate on God, his eternal goodness, his love and grace? I’m not perfect. I find myself constantly struggling in keeping my mind focused on the spirit as apposed to the flesh, but after all, if it was easy everybody would do it. Plus it doesn’t matter how anybody else lives, acts, or treats me, it is how I act and how I treat others. I need to work on me, not you.

So who are you working on today, are you trying to work on me, or are you working on you? Who is annoying you today? Are you trying to fix them, or are you working on you? Today, fix your mind on Christ the author of your faith.

I Wasn’t In The Mood

I told Patti (my wife), “I’m not in the mood.”
Now those might be strange words for a husband to say, but I said them because she asked me while driving down the road to put my seatbelt on. I wasn’t in the mood. I hate seat belts. They wrinkle my shirt and cramp my style. Telling her I was not in the mood to physically restrain myself in a moving vehicle sounded like a great excuse: sound, heartfelt, and honest. What she calmly threw back at me was not what I was expecting.

“That’s very selfish of you. What would we do if you weren’t around? We need you here so put your seatbelt on.”

She was right of course, and yes, I put my seatbelt on, but then it got me thinking. How many other things do we do in life never realizing how it impacts or affects others. Do we ever stop and think how our selfish acts impact our kids? Our friends? Our spouse? Whether we like it or not people are depending on us and sometimes we just need to stop acting like selfish morons. I know that’s not a very spiritual statement, but it’s true. All too often we focus on ourselves and what we want and what we need, never even thinking that other people are looking at how we live and every choice we make affects them.

One of my good friends is pregnant and on bed rest. She cannot even sit up for several more weeks. I’m not sure if she is losing her mind yet but I know I would be. I would be looney because who wants to stay in bed that long? I know she doesn’t want too, but I also know that she is currently living her life in a way that simply adds life to another. What mom does (or doesn’t do in this case) has a direct result on how another person will live their life.

Yep I know that’s an extreme example.

Yep I know that when this kid is born and is 23 will probably never even consider the sacrifice that mom is currently making.

Yep I know that you and I don’t realize and consider the impact that we are making in people’s lives, because 99% of the time they never tell you or show it, but it’s happening.

So buckle up! Stop acting like your life only matters to yourself. Your choices and decisions are impacting numerous other people and just because you don’t like it should have no bearing on whether or not you man up (or woman up) and do the uncomfortable task of what’s right, noble, holy, and acceptable. Buckling up is a law. Acting selflessly is a choice. Make the right choice.

An Insight on Fasting That You Do NOT Know.

ImageOften times when we are fasting we are looking forward to what is coming.  We spend our pensive times in prayer thinking, maybe even dreaming about what will be, how much better this year will be than last.  One of the aspects of fasting that is often unknown is the ‘rug’ principle.


We spend every year sweeping things under the rug in our lives.  You can say you don’t know what I’m talking about, or maybe you are more pious than that and think that only other people do that, but the truth of the matter is; we all sweep things under the proverbial rug.  Relationships that should have been confronted months ago, the out of control spending that has wedged its way into our lives, or even the rouge habits that have grown in significance. 


Whatever it is, we all sweep. 


Other things take precedence throughout the year.   With work demanding more hours, our family getting more needy, and our country changing things daily, our lives have become a smoldering pot of constant change and adaptation just to keep our heads above water.  So it’s no wonder that when things float to the top, if it’s difficult or embarrassing, we shove it back down into the fray….we sweep it under the rug.  After all, nobody looks under your rug….not even your mother-in-law.


One of the powerful effects of fasting is the power to lift the rug in our lives.  Even if you never pray, “oh God! Please lift my rug!”. He will.  He’s a rug lifter.  The rug gets lifted and then we get to deal with all the stuff from the past year that we suppressed, regressed, and swept under the rug.  The great thing is God helps us work through it.  He guides us, supports us, and encourages us.  The difficult news is that you still have to work through it.  There is no magic pill.


The Holy Spirit is our guide, and He will guide us in the proper way to confront, talk, share, leave, stay, hold on, let go, walk, run, forgive, love, heal, and establish boundaries.  Whatever it is, listen to the Holy Spirit and he will guide you through the process of cleaning out from underneath the rug in your life.


  • Fasting pulls the rug back.
  • The Holy Spirit Guides us in how to sweep.
  • We pick up the broom.

Alien Inside

As we embark on week two of our 21 day fast, and was wondering if you seen it yet?  That thing that lurks in the shadows…at times you might feel like Sigourney Weaver In the 90’s smash hit, “Alien.”  Running down dark hallways carrying an assault rifle (illegal to carry but let’s be honest, when you are hunting aliens you want more than just 7 rounds in your magazine) looking to kill the alien before it kills you, only to discover that the alien, that scary, slimy, nasty thing, aleady lives inside you!  And fasting is bringing it out!

Have you noticed more of something in your life or in your home since you have been fasting?  Yep, well that’s what’s in you….I know you wanted me to tell you how awesome you are and how you should be encouraged that you are fasting and you are gonna hear from God and the windows heaven are gonna burst open and cherubim are going to descend bringing you fresh fruit from the thrown of God.  Instead you get dry mouth, headaches, body cramps, and a bad attitude.  Fasting takes away the veneer that so many of us live behind.  As that thin Veneer is shattered what’s left is the areas of our life that really do need work.  This is actually part of the process and it is actually God speaking to you.  He knows and wants you to know that these areas of your life are not pleasing to him.  You could keep on faking it, but you decided to fast and get God’s attention so He is giving it to you.  He is showing you that He is not impressed with your anger.  He really doesn’t like the jealousy.  The fighting in the home…..yep He’s not in it.  What about the lying?  He hates it.  Pride?  Arrogance?  Sexual deviance? None of it is in His plan for you. So many of us live with all these nasty aliens lurking in us, and it’s not until we get serious and fast and pray that we even see it to address it.

So what is rearing it’s ugly head in your life this week?  Name it.  Be honest with yourself.  Then attack it and tear it down.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

Pick up your spiritual weapons, and go pop-a-cap in the alien lurking inside you.

Exactly What Do I Have To Do?

Sometimes when I ask my kids to do something, they will ask me what they have to do.  They only ask this when there is a chore or an unsavory thing that must be done.  I might say, “clean your room,” and then my 8 year old will ask, “What all do I need to do?  How good do you want me to clean it?”  In other words, what is the minimum that I can do and still appease you Father?  What exactly do I need to do in order not to get punished?

The frustrating thing is when I see this attitude seep into our minds when it comes to fasting.  We ask questions like, “Can I have this?”  “Is this allowed on the fast?”  “What about this?”  “Can I eat this?” And those are ALL the wrong questions.  None of those questions come close to relating to fasting. Those questions belong to a legalistic mindset.

See the question is not can you have this or that, but rather, “What are you willing to give up for a temporary amount of time, in order to hear from God?”  What type of food, or all food, is more important than having God show up in your life?  

Is a steak more important than a new job you want?

Is sugar more important than peace in your home?

Is a hamburger more important than having a child you’ve been wanting?  

What about a finding a Godly spouse?  

What about having a heathen husband get saved?  

What about your indebtedness being wiped out, or the money found to pay it off?  

Do you want to keep the school loans forever? Or is God moving supernaturally in your finances more important to you than sweets?  Sugar?  Meat?  Chocolate? FaceBook? TV?

See I think we have approached fasting from the wrong direction for too long.  We have somehow in our crazy American mindset made it a yearly chore instead of a desperate cry to gain God’s attention in our lives.  A season of time that we set aside and genuinely cry out to God saying, “I need you more than anything!  These hunger pains and headaches pale in comparison to your greatness.  See me!  Hear my cry!  Move on my behalf!  Bring your signs, miracles and wonders down in my life!  I can’t survive another moment let alone a whole year without your favor!

Right now stop and think what you are fasting for.  If you don’t have a need, no character flaws, or spiritual dryness then why are you fasting?  But if you do, then before you pop the M&M in your mouth ask yourself, “Is this little bit of hunger or this little bit of craving more powerful than my desire for (fill in the blank).”

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